Friday, February 5, 2010
What is Normal?
I've been having some good days lately. And I guess I shouldn't complain...and I'm not really complaining...I'm just wondering what kind of punishment I'm in for. Let me explain...some days, like recently, I think I'm moving on...moving forward, from dad's death. I don't cry as much, I don't think about him and feel extremely sad. But then I think, he's my dad...I should cry, I should be sad, I should be depressed...for the rest of my life. I think I'm actually feeling guilty for feeling like I'm accepting this. Accepting is too strong of a word, because I don't think, as long as I live, I will accept having to live my life without the guidance and love of my father. My brain/mind still rejects that he's even gone...it is still in a state of shock. But my heart is, for the most part, trying to heal. Is that okay? Is that normal? Do I love my dad less because I'm not feeling sad?
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Angela,
ReplyDeleteYou can't continue your entire life feeling sad and depressed. You will always miss him and wish he were with you, but that doesn't mean you can't move on. I am certain he would want you to go on with your life and live it to the fullest and happiest that you can. You don't love him less, you have just gotten past the constant pain that death causes. You enjoy happiness! So go for it I say, but there will be days when you think and are sad. This is normal. :) Michele